Get Back the Llama
by Rubious
Summary: While searching for a lost animal, the Get Backers face unusual opponents.


Title: Get Back the Llama

Author: Rubious

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: humor, violence, undead animals, AU-OOC

Archive: This is archived at FFnet under "Rubious" and at my home page.

Disclaimer: Get Backers © Aoki and Ayamine. This story is a work of fanfiction and is for entertainment purposes only.

Note: While searching for a lost animal, The Get Backers face unusual opponents.

//thoughts//

Swirling his coffee in the ceramic mug, its blackness matching his mood, Ban Mido pondered the seemingly bleak finances of the Get Backers. Every yen the team earned was spent as soon as it came into their hands. He hoped their next mission would be a lucrative one, enough to get them on their feet, instead of sitting idly on their butts waiting at the Honky Tonk.

"Smile, Ban-chan," his partner, Ginji Amano, said softly as he gently tapped Ban's shoulder. "Hevn should be here any minute."

Before Ban could respond, a chime above the front door jangled as the blonde intermediary and another person entered the café. Ginji greeted the pair happily. Ban furrowed his brow and glared at the man accompanying Hevn. "What the hell is he doing here?" he growled.

"Good morning to you too," the buxom blonde replied sarcastically. "If you're going to have that attitude, I can easily give the assignment to…"

Stepping forward, Ginji interrupted, "Don't do that, Hevn-san," and glanced back towards the spiky-haired retriever with imploring brown eyes.

Ban apologized, but remained hostile at the idea of working with Shido Fuyuki, a man he regarded as a rival.

Hevn explained that Shido's skills were necessary for this assignment. Upon hearing this, Ban rolled his eyes and retorted, "Yeah, Beast Boy could rescue a kitten stuck in a tree."

"I'm not too happy working with you either, Snake Charmer. Hey, you couldn't even hold down a job as a food company mascot," Shido said, recounting another of Ban's failed moneymaking schemes.

With the two acting like insult-hurling schoolboys on a playground at recess, Ginji interceded to bring the conversation back to the topics at hand. "Hevn, what is our assignment?"

She walked over to the counter and sat on a barstool and outlined their job, to track down a wayward llama that had last been seen in the Sleeping Forest area near the east coast. The client had paid them a retainer and would pay the balance upon the llama's retrieval. Handing a slip of paper to Paul, the cafe's proprietor, she inquired, "Since the llama is partial to sweets, do you have any of these items?"

Peering at the paper, Paul stooped down behind the bar and rifled through some cupboards. "Not on hand," he remarked. The bespectacled businessman then went upstairs and returned with a small box that he handed to Ginji.

"Don't lose it. It's the only box I have in stock," Paul said.

Ginji thanked him. As the three retrievers departed to pick up a trailer that would be needed to transport the llama, Ban yelled back, "Put it on our tab."

With a heavy sigh, Paul shrugged and commented, "With those guys, it's the same old story. One of these days…"

After hitching the trailer to the Subaru 360, the trio stopped at the South Tokyo branch of Pantasia for some food. Paul had mentioned to them that he had seen the bakery profiled on the local news after Pantasia defeated its rival bakery, St. Pierre, in a televised bakeoff. As Ban parked the car down the street, he noted the bakery was rather nondescript, but once inside it was an entirely different story.

Employees clad in white aprons covering blue shirts and black pants bustled about bringing out racks of freshly baked loaves. The wondrous aroma was intoxicating to Ban as he inhaled. //If this scent could be bottled, we could make a mint selling air fresheners and cologne.//

His attention was diverted by the bakery's manager, a muscular man wearing shades and an Afro, exhorting the bakers to excel at their craft. One new hire was reacting badly to the man's methods. Ban looked on with amusement. //That guy doesn't scare me. Fear the Fro, my ass.//

"Next," the cheerful brunette standing behind the counter announced. The Get Backers stepped forward, undecided on what to purchase.

"Everything looks so good. Too bad we can't buy the whole store," commented Ginji, eyeing the displays showcasing the baked goods.

The dark-haired retriever concurred with his partner's assessment. "What would you recommend that would go with an iced coffee?' he asked the cashier, whose name badge read "Tsukino". Glancing over at Ginji, who was gawking at some delicious pastries, Ban elbowed the blond and whispered, "Stop drooling."

Ginji frowned, but resumed staring at the shelves.

To Tsukino, Ban said, "Don't mind him."

The girl regarded the scene as nothing extraordinary. Customers, young and old alike, were transfixed by Pantasia's sights and smells. Once someone tasted a product, things would get interesting. "We get that reaction all the time," she said, smiling. "Our new specialty bread would be excellent with coffee. In fact, it was created by a baker with 'solar hands'. Every loaf he bakes turns out to be something special. Here's a sample."

She offered them a plateful of the bread.

As Ginji tasted the sample, he closed his eyes and imagined he was floating in space among twinkling stars and comets. He felt so content. Ban noted the blond's aloofness and remarked, "Earth to Ginji."

Hearing his name, Ginji opened his eyes and regained his composure. "Sorry, Ban-chan, but this bread is so delicious. It's as if you're eating a dream."

Ban arched an eyebrow at the thought that eating bread could compare to experiencing the Jagan. "Oh, really?" he said skeptically, plucking a morsel from the sample plate. After nibbling the bread, Ban closed his eyes and imagined he was surfing a giant wave, weaving back and forth as it thundered towards shore in an effort to impress everyone on the beach, particularly the babes.

Upon seeing his partner's reaction, Ginji grinned and asked, "Did you have a nice dream?"

Glowering, Ban chuckled, "This stuff is as addictive as crack. Hey, maybe we could convince the guy to make some customized bread for us to sell…"

"Ban-chan?" Ginji inquired, seeing his partner concocting another pie-in-the-sky scheme.

"Eating this delicious bread makes you feel as if you're soaring in the clouds like an eagle."

Shido nodded at Ginji's analogy, but preferred to be a peregrine circling in the clear sky, searching for prey with its keen eyesight.

Unlike his indecisive associates, Shido knew what he wanted and ordered an oat bran muffin. After taking a bite, he neighed and flailed his arms. //I'm galloping through an endless meadow, the wind ruffling my mane.//

"Snap out of it, Mr. Ed. Before you hurt someone with your hooves." Ban sneered..

The trio finished their purchases and departed Pantasia and headed out of the city on the coastal highway. After driving several hours, they reached the area where the llama had last been sighted. "This place looks familiar," remarked Ginji.

"Don't remind me. It's not too far from where we got stranded in the snowstorm a few months ago when Goody Two Shoes here didn't want to make road kill out of some squirrels," Ban grumbled.

The trio got out of the Subaru and surveyed the surrounding area. Beyond the highway shoulder was a path that descended to the rocky shoreline. Across the road sakura trees blossomed in pink and white splendor. Ginji had chosen to explore the shoreline. Making his way carefully through the slippery rocks, he saw some seagulls apparently feeding on some scraps. Venturing closer, he observed they were actually pecking hungrily at a torn

animal carcass.

"Ban-chan! Shido! We might be too late!" he shouted to his comrades.

The two retrievers scrambled down the slope in response to Ginji's call. Analyzing the situation, Shido concluded the carcass was too small to be a llama; in most likelihood, it was a wooded creature from the forest nearby.

Seeing nothing was needed there, Ban announced impatiently, "Let's not waste our time and find the llama." He turned and took a step backwards.

"Wait, Ban-chan," Ginji said. "Shouldn't we at least bury it?" Ban fumed at the suggestion.

Shido interceded, "Let nature take its course. Those scavengers will do the dirty work."

Taking a last glance at the macabre scene, Ginji sighed and asked nervously, "Um, Shido, do seagulls have glowing red eyes?"

"Not to my knowledge," was the response.

"Maybe they're zombie," offered Ban. Shido scoffed at the ridiculous idea, but the gulls sensed their presence. With a screeching cacophony and wings flapping madly, the birds began advancing towards the Get Backers., who stood their ground.

"This is turning into a bad horror movie," Ban deadpanned before focusing on the winged opponents to unleash the Jagan. A minute passed and the birds still screeched and moved menacingly.

"Why didn't it work?" Ginji asked in a panicky voice.

"The Jagan only works on LIVING things," Shido reasoned, "Now it's my turn." Known as the Beastmaster for his ability to communicate with animals, his efforts proved fruitless with the undead gulls. "They're not listening to me either."

"Because they're dead!" snapped Ban.

"Can we call anybody to help?" asked Ginji concernedly.

"I recall there was a zombie hunting group a few years ago, but realistically, the odds of them being in Japan are zero," the Jagan-user answered.

"Enough of this," Shido growled, rolling up his sleeves. "I'll make them listen." He ran towards the birds, swatting at them and trying to rip off their wings.

Ban chuckled when he thought he heard the Beastmaster during the melee shout, "Beyond the shoulder, from the wrist. Look out evil, here's my fist." //How ridiculous can you get? That sounds like something Emishi would say or else it came from a comic book.//

Shido was knee-deep in seagulls frantically pecking at him. Ban went over and helped him out of the fracas. They looked towards Ginji, who was reluctant to intervene in the fight. "Come on, fry 'em," urged his partner.

The hesitant Get Backer didn't want to unleash his electrical powers against any being, whether it was human or animal, and cause pain. Realizing his friends were in danger, he fired an electric blast towards the zombie birds, sparks arcing everywhere. Screeches from the scorched gulls and the smell of charred feathers filled the air.

"Good job, Ginji," congratulated Ban.

"Ban-chan…" Ginji murmured as he trudged up the slope back up to the highway, his shoulders stooped and his eyes downcast. He felt depressed because his actions had harmed others. Reaching the Subaru, he gazed across the road in the direction of the forest. Resting in the shade of some sakura trees was the errant alpaca they had been searching for.

"There it is!" he exclaimed, pointing at the animal.

Ban smiled, knowing the job will be done quickly. Turning to Ginji, he inquired, "Do you still have that stuff Paul gave us to use as bait?"

The blond patted the pockets in his green vest and cargo shorts. "The box is empty."

Raising an eyebrow, Ban snorted, "Did you eat it all?"

"But I was hungry," Ginji replied meekly like a scolded child. "But the crystallized ginger slices were yummy," he added.

Ban wanted to slap his partner, but scowled angrily at him. //It's never easy.// He opened the Subaru's trunk and took out some rope, which he began to fashion into a lasso.

"C'mon, Ginji. Let's rope the critter and collect our payday back at the ranch," he drawled, acting as if he was on a cattle drive.

Shido rolled his eyes at the sight. Walking over to the pair, he advised, "Hold on, you cowboy wannabes. That's not a push-me-pull-you over there. You might do more harm than good to the llama. Besides that's why Hevn hired me for this gig"

Conceding, Ban handed the rope to Shido and watched as the Beastmaster approached the llama. After ten minutes of cajoling, the animal placidly followed him into the trailer.

Before the retrievers could get under way back to the Honky Tonk, the captured llama began to make a ruckus in the trailer. "Got any tranquilizer darts?" Shido offered. They didn't have any. Spying a boom box in the back seat, he asked, "What about music?"

Ginji rummaged through the glove compartment and found some CDs. Shido frowned and wished he had a CD of Madoka's relaxing violin concerto. But the llama would have to settle for a mix of the Beat Men and Metallica.

Shido went back to the trailer, expecting hooves to lash out at him once the door was opened. He edged over to the animal, whispering softly. Placing the boom box in a corner, he pressed "play". "House of Shock", the Beat Men's debut single, blared forth from the speakers. The llama began to bob its head in rhythm with the beat.

The remainder of the trip back to Tokyo was uneventful and the trio returned the llama to a grateful client, who paid the balance of their fee.

After dropping Shido at Madoka's mansion, the pair returned to the Honky Tonk where they regaled Paul and Hevn with their tale.

"Sounds like this job was one for the birds," Paul commented as he poured the teens another cup of coffee.

The End

Author's Notes

1) Dedicated to my sibling, Enigma.

2) The Get Backers stopped at the Pantasia bakery that is the setting for the _Yakitate Japan! _manga and anime. Yakitate characters © Takashi Hashiguchi.

3.) For more information on future stories, check out my Live Journal at http://weisshund.


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